I think about you sometimes. Not in a way that consumes me or leaves me restless, but in the quiet moments when I wonder what it will feel like to truly be seen.

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I imagine you will be patient, not because I am difficult, but because I am still learning how to let someone love me without questioning if I deserve it. You will understand that my heart carries old bruises and that healing is not a straight line. There may be days when I pull back, not because I want distance, but because I am reminding myself it is safe to stay.

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I hope you will see me in all my layers. The strong and the soft. The parts of me that laugh loudly and the parts that need quiet. I hope you will not try to fix me when I am hurting, but instead sit with me in the hurt until I find my way through.

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I am learning now, before I meet you, how to hold myself with the kind of love I want to offer you. I am untangling old fears, loosening the grip of past disappointments, and reminding myself that I am worthy of a love that feels like home.

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When you arrive, I don’t want to hand you a broken version of me and ask you to mend it. I want to meet you whole, not perfect, but whole in a way that says, “I have done the work. I have faced myself. And I am ready to share what I’ve found.”

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I wonder what our first conversation will be like. Will it be casual and ordinary, the kind of talk you almost forget until you realize you haven’t stopped thinking about it since? Or will it be one of those rare connections that feels like a remembering, like we have met in another lifetime?

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Whatever way it happens, I hope we take our time. I hope we build something steady, something honest. I hope we have moments where we cannot stop laughing and moments where silence says everything.

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I want to take rides down back roads with you. I want you to open my car door and kiss me on the forehead when I’m seated. I want us to have our side conversations and burst out laughing when we are in a crowd and act like it’s just us there. I want to catch you smiling when I walk in the room and know that I’m walking into a safe place because you got me. I want you to be my safe landing.

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And until then, I will keep preparing my heart. I will keep learning to choose joy over fear, presence over distraction, and love over doubt.

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Because when you do find me, I want to be ready.

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Ready to see you. Ready to choose you. Ready to stay.